Some of the worst music videos ever made

Yes, I made them and for the record I would like to say that I hate windows movie maker. It needs to die. Painfully, slowly, and with many honey badgers involved...

First up.



I swear to you dear sister, if I ever have to hear this song again...



Then there's an older one. I'm really sorry about the audio in the first scene. I'm not sure how to fix it or make it any better. Cut me some slack though, I'm an idiot.







Sorry for the inconsistent (nonexistent postings). I won't lie and say I'll update more often because to be honest, I probably won't.
Ah well, happy holidays.

Trying this out, Introductory chapter

FEEL FREE TO EDIT THIS OR OFFER SUGGESTIONS.

Introduction

The room was nothing short of hellish. The red velvet sofa sagged so deeply than some of the younger clients had been known to vanish within its folds. The throw pillows were lumpy and misshapen; their original shapes lost to the fury and abuse of countless stress release exercises. The carpets had suffered badly from years of neglect and had begun to peel away from the corners of the room, exposing the rotting wooden floors beneath them. The air was hot and sleepy, and made it difficult to stay awake or concentrate. Kevin had thought that after the many years she had worked here she would have become accustomed to it, unfortunately she never had. She couldn’t even open the window due to one particularly violent client who, in a fit, had dented the frame. Marie glanced up at the grandfather clock in the corner with minimal interest. Then, with an effort, pulled herself out of her chair and opened the door to the waiting room.

“Mrs. Dawn Alderson?” he called. “Are you ready?”

In the wicker chair nearest to the exit, a woman set down her magazine, glanced up at her and nodded.

“Well, Come on in then and we’ll get started” Kevin said, injecting his voice with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.

Mrs. Alderson rose gracefully, and followed Kevin into the office. Once they were both inside, Kevin closed the door and returned to his own chair and began searching for a pen. He gestured silently at the lumpy sofa, encouraging Mrs. Alderson to sit. Mrs. Alderson however did not move toward or even look at the sofa. Instead she stood near the door, hands clasped in front of her, staring intently at Maria.

“You’re free to sit down Mrs. Alderson.” Kevin hinted “It makes things easier if you’re relaxed.”

“Call me Dawn please” she whispered moving slowly towards the sofa “Mrs. Alderson is my professional name.”

Kevin smiled as Dawn began to lower herself cautiously down on the sofa. “Alright then Dawn, would you like to tell me why you’re here?”

Dawn had just opened her mouth when the sofa sagged suddenly and she sunk nearly a foot into the red velvet cushion with a small yelp. Kevin stifled a giggle as Dawn attempted to raise herself up slightly only to succeed in further enveloping herself.

“I’m very sorry about the couch Dawn” Kevin offered, focusing all his restraint on keeping his laughter silent. “The department refuses to help us pay for a new one, and none of our employees have one they’re willing to part with.”

“No, no it’s alright.” Dawn sighed “I have one just like it in my office. My clients all tell me that they hate it, but I thought they were just being dramatic.”

“Where do you work Dawn?” Kevin asked, flipping to a blank page of his notebook.

“I have my own therapy practice.” Dawn replied, lying back against the couch and resting her feet on the arm rest. “Clientele bases, appointments, even an office like this, I guess, only my couch is green.”

Kevin paused, confused. He had never thought about the possibility that a therapist would need therapy.

Dawn lay still on the couch, staring at the ceiling. For several minutes she did nothing, and then she suddenly sighed loudly, and twisted her head to face Kevin. “I suppose you’re wondering why I’m here” she murmured. Kevin nodded slowly and leaned in towards Dawn lacing his fingers together underneath his chin

Dawn turned her head slowly back towards the ceiling.

“I’d like to tell you a story.”

Bio Brain: LoL Cats

Brain... explosion...eepBOOM

Introvert's club

Recently, I was alarmed to discover that it is a requirement for my honors class that I act as a social member of the college community. It was explained to me that, despite my best wishes to the contrary, my grade was dependent on my level of social interaction.
The problem is this- I am not a social person, I do not like people, and if given the option I would remain in my room all week (except for classes) and adventure, alone, on the weekends. I am quite fond of this lifestyle, and see no problem with it. But no, this semester, I must rejoin the society I have remained hidden from for years, and I feel as though there is much trouble brewing for me on the horizon.
Why is it so important to be social?
I have no connection with 90% of this campus nor would I wish to form connections with the multitudes of beer-pongers, stoners, party animals, and keg-divers.
And so, an idea begins to form. Why not create a club for people like myself? An introverts club. We would meet once a month, in an online chat room. Gradually, members would introduce themselves, and once we know each other well enough to know we have anything in common, we would meet in person. It would only be a brief meeting, we wouldn't talk, no one would eat the pizza, but it would be the best, most comfortable meeting any of us had ever attended.

And just in case I have offended anyone with my rantings...

If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is mended, That you have but slumber'd here, While these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, No more yielding but a dream, Gentles, do not reprehend: if you pardon, we will mend: And, as I am an honest Puck, If we have unearned luck Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue, We will make amends ere long; Else the Puck a liar call; So, good night unto you all. Give me your hands, if we be friends, And Robin shall restore amends.
-----Midsummer night's dream: Puck

Famous "Vampires"

The following a just a few of the most famous "vampires", along with a little extra information about each.

Countess of Chateau de Deux-Forts

· Kidnapped children from the local villages in order to bathe in their blood and to "cure" leprosy

Gilles de Rais

· Cannibalism, Sorcery, Sadism, Necrophilia, vampirism

· Gilles kidnapped, tortured, and killed hundreds of peasant children, mostly boys, while he worked with alchemists who used black magic in their pursuit to turn base metals into gold.

Elizabeth Bathory “Blood countess”

· Tortured and killed hundreds of girls and young women in order to bathe in their blood and preserve her youth and beauty

Vlad III the Impaler (aka: Dracula)

· Known for his cruel punishments—according to German stories, his victims number at least 80,000 people. Rumored to once have killed 41 merchants by impalement and confiscated their goods. Rumors of torture, cannibalism, kidnapping, etc.

o Forrest of the impaled: Location where Vald had allegedly lined the roadways with thousands of impaled Turkish soldiers

Arnod Paole

· Believed that he had suffered from a vampire attack, but had prevented himself from becoming one by bathing in the vampire’s blood and eating the grave dirt. Weeks after he had died in farming accident people around town began to report sightings of him. He was dug up, decapitated, staked, and reburied

Peter Plogojowitz

· Within a week after his death, nine people also died of a 24 hour illness. Those suffering from the sickness recounted that they had seen the late Peter before they had gotten ill. Peter was branded a vampire and in accordance with regular practices, his grave was exhumed, his heart was staked, and his body was burned.

A break from vampire to vent

For most people, the idea of a future relationship is almost a given.
The dream, ingrained in our minds from early childhood, is of a small country house with red shutters, a white picket fence, a manicured lawn, maybe a tire swing hanging from an old oak tree. Where the wife cooks, clean, and cares for the doe-eyed children, and the husband dons his suit and tie, kisses his wife, grabs his coffee and briefcase, and heads to the daily races. The children are then hustled out the door with back packs filled with books, homework, and brown paper bag lunches and into a school bus where they are whisked away to school. The wife spends the day cleaning, making dinner, and gossiping with the neighbors. When the children return from school, they grab a couple snacks and nestle into the couch to watch their favorite afternoon cartoons before it's time to begin their homework. The father returns home with a "Honey, I'm home", and hangs up his hat and coat in time to receive a martini from his adoring wife who kisses him on the cheek and asks "How was work?" The children, upon hearing their father's voice, race into the room and seize his legs shouting "Daddy's home" and drag him away to help them with their homework. The wife allows them to work together while she finished up the mashed potatoes and roast beef, then calls them into the dinning room for supper. They say grace, eat, then watch "The Honeymooners" until bedtime where the father reads them a story and tucks them in. The mother kisses them goodnight and flicks off the light. The children drift off peacefully into dreams of summer sports and pirate adventures while Mom and Dad sit in bed and read quietly until they too fall asleep.

It's true that some families enjoy a life of relative peace, love, and security. It is also true that others, do not. Not everyone has a "Leave it to Beaver" childhood, and not every married couple enjoys a "I love Lucy" relationship.






Here's the shocker, a dependent relationship is not a necessity. Friends, family, etc work just as well. "Every individual is an island and can be an island. You do not need a significant other to live life." (Foamy, illwillpress.com)

Become a strong and happy individual BEFORE entering into a relationship. Your relationships will work out better, and you can avoid becoming dependent on others for your personal happiness.
Want real love?




Get a dog.

Make your own vampire

With the buzz around town centering around Breaking Dawn and the Twilight series (including the movie airing 12.12.08) I, being the only one of my friends to waste valuable time researching such things, have been asked again and again about vampire myths, vampires v. werewolves, the different types of vampires, etc. etc. etc. I'm going to post a few of these questions here, so I can direct people to this page and thus save myself from having to answer the same questions several hundred times. I've sent similar information to thinkingzygote.com where it will be posted.

Creating a "vampire"--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
Vampire myths exist in one form or another in almost every culture around the world. Some believe that many of the western ideas about vampires originated in the east from stories about monsters such as the vrykolakas (Greek) and the strigoi (Romainia). Once these stories have infected the collective minds of a society, there could be many different things that ignite a vampire legend of their own.
Take for instance a small peasant village living under a noble family. Let's say 13th or 14th century. Most peasants lived as farmers and suffered from malnutrition and weakness. Therefore to them, a well fed and strong noble man would seem almost superhuman by comparison. He could (if he were in good shape and he wanted to) run faster and lift more, super speed and strength. As farmers, the peasants would naturally have built up dark tans, while the nobles (seeing paleness as a status symbol) would not have. Thus, by comparison a noble would seem unnaturally pale. The nobles would not have much, if any, contact with the peasants which would allow for rumors to grow and spread unchecked. Throw in a Nobel's body, and we're halfway to a vampire.

During normal stages of decomposition, intestinal bacteria break down tissues and cells, releasing fluids into the body cavity (ie:blood) as well as creating gases such as methane which will give the body a bloated appearance. Sometimes, the pressure of the gases from said bacteria will force the fluids out of the mouth. Also during normal decay, a body goes through hemolysis (the destruction of red blood cells) giving the corpse a "rosier" appearance than it should have.


Red blood cells go "boom"

And thus, a scenario arises: When grave robbers come and open the tomb of a deceased noble, they find that the body appears to have been "drinking" blood, that it is a bit plumper than they remember, and that it has a little more color than they would have liked to have seen. One change of pants later, they're down at the pub recounting their terrifying story (adding a few exaggeration here and there in order keep the ale flowing in their direction) and low and behold, our town has a vampire.
Coming soon
Vampire from around the world / types of vampires